Where do we begin with a car that was the boyhood dream of a madman genius and potential bond villain. The Model S experience is like Zeus and Storm doing tentakle erotika with elektrik eels . What’s my safety word again bae — ちくしょう (chikushō)? Darth Sidious did blow off the dashboard on the test drive. That is how krazy this bitch got, and the moment you step in…the moment you get out the experience is surreal. I asked myself — Wow did that just happen? This car is pure nasty evil…But all in a good way. Now obey yo sensei and hold on to your katana. This is Blvk mah fuking Tokyo Item 0002 .
Okay so let me get into the details…talk about the specifications of this work of art. “Hand KRAFTED in the Marche Region of Italy, (ohhh shit that already sounds mah fucking expensive) BUSCEMI introduces the 90MM in a pared back tribute to skateboarding (TONY HAWK N64 for evah). No hardware, no handle, all luxurious and thick pebbled KALF leather with snake skin collar. The piece also enjoys a thicker outsole for a lasting comfort throughout the day.” Shitttt…I jacked that all from the website. Fucks wif me.
Khewbakka is that friend that would take a bullet for you, or sleep with that grenade so you can get laid with her hot friend. This man is indispensable, he owes you a life debt. He is what we call the Khewbakka. We have wild stories of people we consider Khewbakkas. Every month we will be reading a story about your Khewbakkas the nigga’s that have your back…no matter what.
These are fictional tales of Mike Tyson the alien. We have some krazy rumours about this man. Krazy. So krazy they may be true! But fuck it we rolling the dice and let us say this is science fiction. Hoping we do not get hit with a law suit or his raw uppercuts. If you do not like the shit we have to stay; turn off your station.